Somewhere in Georgia
Thomas tried to convey of all his feelings to Sarah with a look. Even whispering is dangerous now, so he just looked her into the eye and tried to say “just keep quiet, don’t worry, let me do it”. And she nods, curling into herself and out of view. But her eyes follow him, and the sorrow and pain is so deeply etched into her gaze that the pain in his heart for once overshadows the pain in his stomach, in his limbs, in his hands. Not for long, however, for his hands bleed and it feels like his stomach is eating itself as he keeps working, doing both his work and Sarah’s share. More than once he feels like just collapsing and dying, but if he does he knows that Sarah would be sure to follow. He finishes the work after several hours more, fetches her and then heads to the overseer. Seeing that their share of work has been completed, he hands them two rations of rice and dismisses them. Thomas eats his ration fast. It’s small and when he finished it he’s still hungry. It’s the kind of hunger that’s always present, that’s always hurting, because the master only gives them enough rice to not die, but never enough to feel full. It’s almost as cruel as the whip, he believes.
Since the war had started things had just gotten worse and worse in the plantation. The master, Thomas knows, had been once of the arch-secessionists that had wanted an independent South even since the war with Mexico. Curses upon the names of Philipps, then of Frémont, and finally of Lincoln, were omnipresent, even if most of the hands knew little of those gentlemen. All they knew was that they wanted the Black people to be free, or so did master and his fire-eating friends say. Kneeling by the windows, his muscles taut and his heart in his throat, Thomas would listen to their conversations and then relay the message to the rest. They all relied on him for knowledge. He was one of the few Black people in the plantation that could read even a little, you see. Taught himself by studying posters and cards, and drawing the letters and then sentences into the dirt. By spying on conversations and glancing at newspapers, he knew that the White people would elect a President and that if that was Mister Lincoln he would free the slaves. But Thomas also knew that the masters would go to war to prevent this. The night that Lincoln won, Thomas found out because the master hosted several other planters who all hotly declared that they would die to defend their honor. When he relayed the message, the enslaved prayed for the right to triumph in the coming struggle, sitting quietly on the black soil of the nearby forest and whispering in the moonless night.
Master’s two sons had gone to the war; his daughter was a nurse as well. When they had left for Tennessee, their swords shining and their uniforms impeccable, the master had assembled all of the plantation and ordered them to bid a farewell. As if the men who would be fighting to keep them in slavery deserved such praise. A few months later, one son returned, not to a hero’s welcome but in a box to be buried next to his mother. Thomas felt satisfaction that he had uselessly died of typhus, not having even seen the Yankees and not seeing the battle when General Grant whipped the haughty rebels. The daughter then came, whole in body at least. She too had fallen sick, and was now too weak to do anything but knit socks for the soldiers. And that she did, staring ahead with dead eyes. The girl used to be so lively, one of those White people who took pride in being “nice” to the enslaved, by saying that 20 lashes instead of 30 should be fine or giving chickens in Christmas to women who had seen their children sold down south. She now never said anything, except when she sobbed about men thorn to pieces or how she just couldn’t bear to see more death and gore. In Thomas’ chest, the sense of satisfaction mixed with the anger at how death and gore never bothered her before when it was Black people who suffered them.
It's hard to even pretend to care about the pain master was suffering due to his children, when this was the same man that saw
their children as nothing more than future profit. If Thomas could, he would run to the Union folks and return in a blue uniform and burn it all to the ground. But there’s people he cares about, people he needs to protect. Both master and the overseer suspect him, whisper that he’s disloyal and uppity. They can’t force him to submit, Thomas knows. Of course, they can kill him anytime they want, but the master wants to break Thomas’ spirit and with every small act of defiance, every refusal to work, every furtive reunion in the woods, every curt word and fiery glare, Thomas tell him that he will never succeed. “Titus, boy”, the master would say, using that mocking slave name, “you are going to get yourself killed”. But Thomas persisted, until the master started to say “you are going to get someone else killed”. Though his heart was still full of defiance, Thomas kept his head down, less those lashes fall on Sarah or someone else, and started to work with more vigor. The next funeral at the plantation was, thankfully, not for one of them, but for master’s other son. The boy had fallen during the Battle of Atlanta. Master took solace in that it was a glorious death, but Thomas knew that now the Union was at the gates of Atlanta. Their plantation was now close to the Yankees. It was that day that Titus became Thomas, taking the name of the General that, he hoped, would soon be their Liberator.
The days continued to stretch before them, full of pain and hunger. Hard times had come to the plantation, and cuts in food and other necessities had been made. Master still had ham and wine, naturally, but now the enslaved only had rice to eat. The beef cows had been butchered and sent to Savannah; the swine had been taken by the Confederate Army. They couldn’t even fish, for the weights of their nets had been melted and turned into bullets. They most likely where now lodged in the heart of some poor Yankee boy. They felt sick, and some had died. Of course, there wasn’t any funeral for them. Sarah especially was growing weaker with each passing day, and now couldn’t even stomach the little rice they receive. It was the fear of her dying that drove Thomas to slip away through the forest, hoping to find something else, anything else to keep her dying. It was dangerous, he knew, and foolish, for Georgia was full of rebel guerrillas that liked to massacre the slaves that wanted to flee. In fact, Thomas found a corpse, still dressed in blue fatigues, propped up like a scarecrow in the middle of the path. This was a warning to those who might consider joining the Yankees. But Thomas was still not cowed. He trudged on, thinking of the people that soldier might have had, those he wanted to protect. He offered a silent prayer for them.
Reaching a dark clearing in the forest, Thomas hung up two small lanterns, each one in a different tree. He waited until the grass fluttered, and then a voice asked, “how did Mister Lincoln know that Allen was lying?” Thomas then replied, “because the almanac showed that that was a moonless night”. This was one of the exploits of Mister Lincoln when he was a young lawyer, and now was used a secret code for the Union League and its allies. Five White men, rifles drawn, then approached. Two Black men followed, but they didn’t carry weapons. Thomas was not a fool, he knew many of the Leaguers in the South were still imbued of prejudice. But in this fight they at least could listen to a nigger if it meant getting information that helped them against the rebels. Their grapevine telegraph could tell them of the positions of rebel soldiers, of the houses of Union men, and what plantations could be plundered. Thomas was one among many slaves who helped them. He told them that they shouldn’t take the western path, because there were Confederate soldiers there. The eastern path was longer, but Mister Wood was a Union man and would give them shelter in his barn. Further bellow there was the plantation of Johnson, who had hidden wheat and sent the soldiers away to protect it.
The guerrillas sat down a moment to check their map. One White man said, gruffly, “thanks boy”, and gave him some salt pork. Another, with a calmer expression, then sat down besides Thomas. He asked why he couldn’t just join them, and Thomas explained that he couldn’t abandon his people. The man nodded in understanding. He didn’t have a people to come back to after his two sons had been drafted and then murdered. He had then joined the guerrillas when they tried to draft him too. “Just to defend the right of those aristocrats to enslave
your people, Mister Thomas”, he said with vehemence. “We both know what it means to have a planter take your child”. The guerrillas left, and Thomas returned to his plantation just before dawn. That night, when after working his share and Sarah’s he received their rice portions, Thomas scrapped the salt of the pork into the rice and then did his best to roast the meat. They didn’t really have much salt either, so that little already made the rice taste much better. And although the pork was somewhat rancid, it was still filling. For the first time in months, the hunger pangs lessened, and Sarah seemed just a bit stronger. Before parting, she and Thomas prayed again. According to the guerrillas, the Union soon would take Atlanta. The day of jubilee was nearby.